The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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