They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
