i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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