shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
