i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i came on her dog
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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