Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i love accidental penises.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we're making bets on your personal life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
