Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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