Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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