I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You did what with his pubic hair?
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