im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
