every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
