How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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