soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
