my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
