making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize