guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
