WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
