i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I came so hard my ears popped.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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