Apparently you make a good broom.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
