I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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