Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
