Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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