It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
