I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
