But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
