If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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