The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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