best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
