the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
