I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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