his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
50% drunk capacity currently
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
