i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize