Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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