Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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