ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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