Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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