Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
