remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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