I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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