after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
