How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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