Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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