first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
