I am puke
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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