drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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