okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
