Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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