Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
operation harelip BJ is a go
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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