Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
