ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
