Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
