Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
