When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My hand turned me down
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
