you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize