I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
