Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
