As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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